Even though hand-writing letters is mostly a thing of the past, I hope hand-written thank you notes never go extinct! I explain to my kids, as my mother did to me, that because the giver went to the time and expense to get the gift, surely we can take the time to write a thank you card and mail it.
I think thank you notes go a long way in helping children not take for granted what is given to them. Anybody else have Biblical principles and verses about gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation ringing in your ears?
My mom used to save well-written thank you cards to help me as examples when writing my own. I haven’t done that (yet), but came up with a method that has been manageable for us as my kids have grown.
The event:
The main time of year we require thank you notes is at birthdays. My children don’t happen to be the extra-generous types who want people to bring items to donate instead of for them. (Who are those kids?! God bless ’em!) So every year, as presents are opened, I am diligent to write (ahem, scrawl out, unless I’ve shoved the task into a friend’s hand at the last minute) the list of names and what is given.
Get thank you notes started ASAP:
Within the next couple of days, we make a point to get started on the thank you notes. Not only is it courteous to be timely with a thank you, I find that the longer we put it off, the worse our attitudes get. I want to help foster appreciation for the gifts, not a dread of writing hanging over their heads.
With the gift list and note cards ready, I mark off how many the child needs to work on per day. This depends on the age and ability of the child, as well as how many gifts were received. They love checking them off as they complete them!
Age-appropriate thank you note formats:
Preschool & Kinder- Explain what you are doing and give them a space and a crayon to “write” in addition to what you have written for them. You might ask what they “wrote” and add the translation by their note. When they are able, they can sign their name. Young children can also help lick the envelopes and put on stamps. (Depending on how much time you want to spend on them, you could also purchase blank sets of note cards with envelopes and let them decorate the front side with rubber stamps, stickers, and coloring.)
1st – 4th grade – This age range can begin to use more and more of their writing skills. On the sample below, I’ve shown the progression I used with my kids. They would fill in the underlined portions and I would do the rest. With each progressing phase, we would discuss the sample and I would write out a “master” so they could use it for reference as they worked.
1st Grade:
Dear Tyler,
Thank you for the game. I am going to have a blast with it! I’m glad you could celebrate my birthday with me!
From, Jake
(Encourage input for wording to reflect their style and thoughts.)
2nd Grade:
Dear Tyler,
Thank you for the game. I am going to have a blast with it! I’m glad you could celebrate my birthday with me!
From, Jake
(Encourage input for wording to reflect their style and thoughts.)
3rd Grade:
Dear Tyler,
Thank you for the game! I am going to have a blast with it!
(Or let them modify with their own words, like “Tyler, Thanks for the game. I love it! You rock! Jake”)
From, Jake
4th Grade:
Dear Tyler,
Thank you for the game! I am going to have a blast with it! I’m glad you could celebrate my birthday with me!
From, Jake
(Encourage input for wording to reflect their style and thoughts.)
5th Grade and beyond:
By this point, they should be capable of writing thank you notes on their own. Practice with them on coming up with their own thoughts for the wording. Below is the formula I use in teaching my kids. I write it out for them so they can keep it in mind as they write. I encourage at least three sentences, but remind them it doesn’t hurt to write more.
Dear Name,
Thank you for the name of item. Say something nice about the item or how you will enjoy using it. Tell them you are glad they celebrated your birthday with you or appreciate them remembering your birthday.
From or Love, Name
Addressing Envelopes:
I’d rather my kids spend their energy writing the actual thank you notes than addressing them. I wait until the writing process is not tedious and time-consuming for them before adding in the envelope portion.
Before your child’s next birthday, consider going over the topic of Appreciation
in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.
You’ll find related Scriptures, discussion questions, and Take Action ideas to help you reinforce this important subject.
Have a thank you note writing tip? Please share in the comment section!
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2
