Maybe you’ve heard about Operation Christmas Child and even done boxes in the past.
But has your family ever heard a personal story of how it impacted someone?

Tears streamed down my face as I was walking the dogs down our street last fall listening to the Focus on the Family podcast, “Serving as a Family this Christmas.”  A lady from Bosnia shared her testimony of how one of the Operation Christmas Child boxes blessed her both physically and spiritually years before when she was a poor child in a war torn country.

Until then, my family had more or less been going through the motions of doing the boxes every year.  We enjoyed the tradition and vaguely knew it helped people.  We had even read some of the follow up stories from the mailings we would get from Samaritan’s Purse after the deliveries.

However, there’s nothing quite like hearing something first person!  This lady’s story had the beautiful result of tenderizing our hearts as we shopped, wrapped, and packed our boxes. 

I intend for our family to listen to this again before we get started on the shoeboxes this year.
You can hear the story by going to this Focus on the Family link and clicking the “Listen Now” tab.  The portion I’ve referred to is at counter 16:30-26:10.

If you listen, please keep in mind that it’s a 2013 broadcast.  The correct dates and information for 2014 giving can be found here.

10 Ways to Meaningfully Involve Your Child(ren) in Operation Christmas Child :

1. Use the Operation Christmas Child website to explain how it works, if your family is unfamiliar with it.  There are clear instructions and fun, age-appropriate videos showing the packing process.
2. If your child is old enough, listen to this audio mentioned above or look through these videos on the Operation Christmas Child website.
3. Encourage your child to use some of his allowance to help purchase gifts.
4. Take your child with you to shop for the items.
5. On the way to shop, pray out loud that God will give you wisdom to pick out exactly what the recipients will love and need.  Share with your child how cool it is that God already knows who is going to receive your family’s boxes!
6. Let your child have input (within reason) as to what to purchase for the boxes.  (This is challenging for a control freak like me, but God can work through it!)  We try to balance fun things with necessities.
7. Consider having a “packing party” with families from your church…Or, if anything, just with your family.  This is one of our favorite events every year with our Life Group!  All the families bring their own boxes, items to stuff, wrapping paper, tape, and scissors.  The families spread out across the floor of the living areas and get to wrapping and packing.  Yes, it can be a bit crazy…Christmas music is blaring, it’s noisy with all the kids, we continue to struggle with the “best” method of wrapping those cantankerous boxes, and we must all be on guard our for roving toddlers and preschoolers trying to pilfer items that look fun!   But that’s all part of the charm!
8. Again, pray over the boxes for the children represented by them.  Brainstorm ways to pray for the kids that will receive them: health, food, water, safety, positive influences in their lives, their future, to come to know and/or grow in Jesus.
9. Consider creating and putting a “Gifting Gift” under your tree to help you remember to continue to pray for the children who will receive these boxes.  See http://www.parentingwithscripture.com/the-gifting-gift/.
10. Discuss with your family why we take time, energy, and money to do things like Operation Christmas Child.  You can easily find applicable Scripture under the topics of Giving, Ministry, Sharing, Charity, etc. in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

Pictures from our Life Group’s OCC Packing Party 2013!

 Any other great ideas related to Operation Christmas Child?  Please Share!

Almost everyone parents with “self-fulfilling prophecies,” even those unaware of it.
It can be a powerful positive or negative force in your child’s life
AND
has the potential to dramatically change your child’s behavior and self-image….
for good or for bad!

What exactly is a self-fulfilling prophecy, what are some examples, and how can parents use it for good?

Definition:
Self–fulfilling prophecy is defined as any expectation, positive or negative, about a situation or event that affects an individual behavior in such a manner that it causes that expectation to be . 

This happens to be my favorite thing I learned about in a Child Psychology class at Texas A&M.
I think you’ll see why when you read about the impact it can have.

Examples by Age:
Early Childhood Example:
Scenario –
You are at the door with your little one, Sam, getting ready to leave a fun party.
You say to the parent next to you, “Sam always throws a fit when we leave parties!” (NEGATIVE example)

Stop and think about what your child just heard you say.  You basically told him how to act!
If he hadn’t planned on having a fit this time, he likely will now because you have just set up a prophecy for him to fulfill.

How to positively change your child’s behavior –
You know your munchkin has tendency to have a fit when you leave fun places.  You’ve even vented about it with your friends (out of the range of your child’s hearing!)  You decide that in the future, you are going to use the self-fulfilling prophecy to your advantage.

You decide to say, “Sam, we are going to leave in a couple of minutes.  When it’s time to go, I know you will make a good choice and not argue or complain!” (POSITIVE example)  (Incidentally, that’s a reference to Philippians 2:14 in the 15 Fabulous Verses to Memorize free download that can help you parent with Scripture on the go.  That same list is in the back of your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.)

By the way, I’ve toooootally been there, dragging my “precious little angel” out of somewhere while he/she was kicking and screaming from under my arm.
Fun times, aren’t they?!
That’s why I enjoyed employing techniques like the self-fulfilling prophecy.
It may not work every time, but I can guarantee it cuts down on the negative behavior.

Grade School/Tween/Teen Example:
Scenario –
You or your child’s teacher says “Your homework is always late!  You can’t get it together!” (NEGATIVE example)

Stop and think about what your student just heard you say.  Is it likely that it motivated her to do better or deflated her self-image further?

How to positively change your child’s behavior –
You know your child’s grades are suffering because homework isn’t getting turned in on time.  You ask her to sit down with you for a snack at the table.
You say,
“I’m so proud of the # grader you’ve grown into!  I know you can do this homework and get it turned in on time.  What do you think we can do to help you accomplish that?” (POSITIVE example)
Then, you and your child develop and plan with appropriate rewards and consequences to help her positively and successfully accomplish this responsibility.    Related verses, discussion questions, and take action ideas for the topic of “Responsibility” can be found in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

 Think back, are you guilty (like me!) of negative examples of the self-fulfilling prophecy?
Are you excited about seeing the flip-side that the positive versions of self-fulfilling prophecy can have?

Your family’s pumpkin carving can turn into a meaningful and memorable lesson!
We are  fans of Liz Curtis Higg’s book, The Pumpkin Patch Parable.

This is written for preschool through early elementary and has great Biblical analogies for the whole pumpkin growing and carving processes!  These principles have stuck with us beyond those ages as we continue to discuss them during our annual carvings.

Quick Pumpkin Craft Instructions, left to right:
Toilet Paper Pumpkin – Cut orange felt and wrap a roll of toilet paper, stuffing the edges in the top.  Roll a piece of brown paper and stuff in for the stem.  Wrap a green pipe cleaner around a pencil to make a curly-q.   Attach the following verse.

You are the light of the world…let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.  Matthew 5:14a, 16b

Paper Plate Pumpkin –  Paint a paper plate orange.  Glue raffia bow, pumpkin seeds, and green paper leaf that says, “Thank you God for….”

Paper Bag Pumpkin –  Stuff a brown paper bag with crumpled newspaper, paint 3/4 orange and 1/4 green or leave it brown.  Tie green curly ribbon to create the tendrils and attach a green paper leaf with the child’s name on it. 

“What other time do friends, neighbors, and strangers knock on your door and ask for a treat?!”  I wish I could remember who I heard say that years ago because I would thank him or her for the impression it made on me.  What could be a better treat than the “Good News?!”

My family makes the most of this opportunity by having tracts mixed in with the candy bag.  American Tract Society www.atstracts.org has a number of fun Halloween themed, child-friendly tracts available for ordering.

Because we are out trick-or-treating with our own children on Halloween night, we are not at home to pass out the treats.  So, every year we decorate a brown grocery bag, fill it with candy and tracts, and leave it on the porch along with a note instructing the trick or treaters to only take 2-3 things.

Who knows whether or not they all abide by “take 2-3 things” note, but we figure whoever gets the tracts are the ones meant to have them.  My kids love prepping the bag and then together we pray over the bag that God would use the tracts to help the recipients learn more about Him and salvation through Jesus.

Have another  idea for bringing God’s Word into Halloween?  Please share!
I know Halloween can be controversial among Christians.  Let’s not get into that debate here, please.  🙂

The guy who does my hair, Jerry, is a wonderful daddy to his daughter and son.  I always enjoy hearing stories of how he interacts with his kids because I often learn something.

A phrase that stuck with me is that he tells them that he is their cheerleader in life. 

More importantly, he backs up these words…
Think of the positive building up that occurs when he notices his daughter diligently work on math homework that she has been struggling with and says to her, “It’s so cool to watch you knock out that math that I know is challenging!  I am so very proud of you and love seeing you tackle that!”

That is a moment that could have easily been overlooked or missed.  However, he is conscious of the need our kids have for this kind of affirmation as they plug away at life. 

I want to be sure that my kids know that I’m rooting for them and on their side!  Don’t you?

This verse speaks way beyond simply cheerleading.
But since I often use verses on encouragement, I thought this one was a good change and reminder.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Speaking of “training and instruction of the Lord,”  remember that these cheerleading moments are fabulous times to pull topical Scripture into encouraging your child in a positive way!
…Another reason to keep Parenting with Scripture: a Topical Guide for Teachable Moments handy!

Are you your child’s cheerleader?  Does he or she know that?

We never want Scripture to be used only or even primarily when we need to instruct our kids about something they’ve done wrong.  No!  So, how can Scripture be incorporated into positive teachable moments?

Here are three examples across the age spectrum to help you see how easy it is!

Early Childhood –
It’s time for the family to leave the swimming pool.  Sam loves the water and often does not want to get out.  You are semi shocked when this often obstinate and stubborn child cooperates immediately!  You praise him right away, but remind yourself follow up later with Scripture.

At dinner, you pull out your Bible and Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments  and flip through until you spot the applicable topic of Obedience.  Once there, you skim through the verses and find Ephesians 6:1-3.  You read them from the Bible so your child has the visual that this wisdom is coming from God, not some lady named Kara Durbin!

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  Ephesians 6:1
You compliment your child in front of the rest of the family for making a super choice at the pool earlier that day, just like the Bible says.

You may wish to go further in the discussion by adding in verses 2-3.
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  Ephesians 6:2-3
“Did it ‘go well’ when you made the great choice to obey when we said it was time to leave?” you ask.
“Yes!” you affirm.
“Our whole family was blessed by you making a good choice to obey Daddy because we could all leave our fun pool time with a happy family!”

Elementary –
Your family has been under the strain of your husband’s long work hours in his effort to help keep the company afloat.  One Saturday, you pray through the day with the kids that the computers will cooperate so their IT (Information Technology) Manager daddy can come home and play and rest.  By evening, it’s obvious that he won’t be home before the kids go to bed.  Discouraged, you walk into the kitchen and find this note at the kitchen table where your husband normally sets his things down when he comes in.

“Wow, Kalli, you just encouraged me so much with your sweet note to Daddy!  I know it will bring a smile to his weary face when he comes in later!  Thank you for encouraging us and building us up like the Bible says!”  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

This verse is from the topic of “Encouragement” in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.  It’s one I’ve found we use so often that it’s also included in my free download of 15 Fabulous Verses to Memorize.  Knowing some of these key Scriptures by heart will allow you to make ready use of them any time a teachable moment pops up!

Tweens/Teens –
You may remember my post from a few weeks ago titled, “Ask your kids, “What would you do if your teacher made a mistake & gave you a false higher grade?”   Read through for a real life example of what it looks like to make use of a teachable moment and positively parent with Scripture on the concepts of CHARACTER, INTEGRITY, CHOICES, and EXAMPLE.

We want Scripture to be seen as the blessing that it is.  God loves us and knows what’s best for us.
Keeping your eyes open for opportunities of catching your child in the act of living out God’s Word helps him/her see the fruitful reward of following our Creator’s wisdom!

Are you up for asking God to help you be on the lookout? 
I promise you and your family will be blessed by
positive parenting with Scripture! 

October is Pastor Appreciation Month!
What’s your plan?

This year, instead of tangible gift, we thought it would be meaningful for our family to give of our time…
time in prayer that is.

Over a couple of evenings, we brainstormed 31 ways we could pray for our pastors and will pray one each day of the month.    We’re printing out copies for each of the pastors as well and posting one on our fridge to remind us to pray nightly at dinner.

If you like the idea, feel free to use ours or come up with your own.  Click graphic to open and print.

There are also many great ideas on Pinterest, like the ones that prompted our fun and yummy poster last year.

Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you,
who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. 
Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.
Live in peace with each other. 
1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

For more discussion questions, take action ideas and Scripture on the topic of “Appreciation,”
see Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

What’s your favorite idea for Pastor Appreciation Month?  Please share!

On the way home from the kids’ evening archery class one day last year, we listened to an online devotional and then I asked Kalli to pray for us.  “But I already prayed today,” was her quick response.

Perfect set-up for a teachable moment, don’t ya’ think?  Several points came to mind.

1.  Jesus is our best friend.  Don’t we want to talk often with our best friends? 
I couldn’t think of exactly where the verse was, but reminded the kids that the Bible says to “pray continually.”  (1 Thessalonians 5:17, by the way.)

That means our lives can be a dialogue with God throughout the day as we think of things and as things come up…
Pray out-loud for the people the ambulance is helping as it whizzes by.
Pray for something heard on the news right then and there.
Pray for the friend who texted that she has a sore throat.
Pray out-loud on the way to a play date or party for the friends to be kind to each other.

And, it’s not just requests that can be an on-going dialogue from our heart…
Praise Him for who He is!
Praise Him for answered prayers as they happen.
Praise Him as you notice the beauty of His creation that surrounds you in big and little ways.
Ask Him for help with what your struggles and forgiveness when you realize you have gone astray.

2.  Just because we’ve “officially” prayed once that day, doesn’t mean we’ve met some sort of quota.
I pointed out that I had already prayed at lunch so did that mean I also shouldn’t have to pray anymore today either?  Is that the way we want to view prayer, as something to check off for the day?

3.  And, it was the perfect time to share something with the kids about a prayer time they don’t ever see.
I shared with them that their daddy and I pray together every night right before we go to sleep.  Not long prayers…just short and sweet, whatever is on our heart from that day and/or for the next.  I wanted them to hear an example of how we prioritize prayer with each other, even when they aren’t around. 

Pray continually.  1 Thessalonians 5:17

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 
Ephesians 6:18

More discussion questions, take action ideas, and Scriptures related to “Prayer” can be found in your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is funny!
It’s also a great illustration (unless it would freak out your kids!)
that praying doesn’t have to “look” a certain way. 
“Praying continually” means anywhere, anytime, anyhow! 
Thank you, Lord, for that freedom you bless us with to be able to talk with You, our Heavenly Father!

(Cartoon permission courtesy of www.reverendfun.com)

What is your kid’s concept of the how, when, and why of prayer? 
Ask and see where the discussion leads.
Sometimes I’m surprised by what my kids know and don’t know.

Whoever came up with the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!” was a complete idiot!  I saw this Facebook post from a friend and knew it was a “ripe for the picking” teachable moment!

God knew that I was meant to raise little girls…probably in part because I was such a difficult one..but tonight, mama bear’s heart aches for her little girl..she can’t go to sleep upstairs tonight because she heard that some other little girl that she doesn’t know and who doesn’t know her “hates” her…..said girl labeled her as the one with fake red hair and an annoying voice..I guess maybe our Friday night fun (dying her hair) a few weeks back has backfired.

I grabbed my copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments, flipped to the topic of “Meanness,” and dove right a conversation with my kids about what had happened to their friend as described in the post.

The beauty of a making use of a teachable moment like this is that our children can learn from other people’s mistakes, which will aide in preventing them from making the same ones on their own.  They could see how the other girl’s words truly hurt their friend.

This real-life example made these Bible verses come alive and will hopefully help them think before they say something ugly about someone in the future. 

Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.
Proverbs 11:17

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  Proverbs 12:18

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Matthew 5:44

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice.
Ephesians 4:31

Are you up for discussing the old “Sticks and stones…” saying with your kids today?

Caroline realized her teacher had made a mistake in grading a big test.  More points should have been deducted which would have made her score lower.  Grades especially mattered to this high schooler as college was on the horizon.

Ask you kids, “What would you do in this situation?” 

I’m proud to say that my niece, Caroline,  didn’t even hesitate to do the right thing.  An added blessing is that her teacher appreciated her honesty and left the grade as it was.

In contrast and during that same week, Caroline had a friend who got a good grade for something she didn’t turn in.  Caroline had worked extremely hard and spent much time on this same project and was infuriated that her friend wouldn’t come clean with the teacher.  Instead, the friend made up reasons to justify her action (or lack thereof).

Ask your child, “How would you feel about that situation and that friend?” 

True story.
The more we can help our kids learn from other people’s good and bad decisions, the more prepared they will be when faced with something similar.

Now ask yourself, “How can we connect this teachable moment story to God’s word?”
Remember that you can quickly and easily find out what God has to say about any issue that comes up in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments!

The verses from applicable topics such as  “Character, Integrity, Choices, and Example” are embedded and bolded below in a letter I wrote to my niece.  It’s a bit lengthy, but I’d like to share the whole thing to show you how teachable moments can often be looked at from different angles.  First of all, I realized that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to positively affirm my niece’s wonderful choice!  Also, it made for an excellent scenario to discuss with my kids as shown above and including the verses below.

Can you see through this example how making use of teachable moments can be powerfully positive and proactive?

Dear Caroline,

It’s been a while since I’ve written you a letter and I’m thrilled for the reason to write you this one. I am so incredibly proud of the way you handled the situation with your grade! It would have been VERY easy for you to just let it slide and not say anything. In being honest, you risked a lower grade. That shows TRUE character and integrity! Both of those traits are just about the most important values in a person. I like to tell Kalli and Jake that character means who you are when nobody is watching. Meaning, if those things are found out, your true colors show. And your colors are glowing beautifully! Stark contrast to the sad colors leaking out of a certain someone. I’m grateful that Kalli and Jake have a cousin they can look up to as a positive example! Kalli had been listening to our conversation at dinner and wondered what was going on. I recounted the situation and we had wonderful discussion. You, my dear, chose the right way…the blessed way. Even if the teacher had counted off, it still would have been the right thing to do! For your steadfast conviction, I am smiling from ear to ear!

These are some of the verses I shared with the kids about character, integrity, and choices. You are right on, girlie! Keep up that faith!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:5-6
(You trusted God’s plan rather than trying to justify to meet your own desires! Bravo!)

I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity.  1 Chronicles 29:17a
(And, Auntie Kara is pleased too b/c that integrity helps make up the one and only beautiful Caroline!)

The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.  Proverbs 10:9(That’s what I’m sayin’. Not your job to bring her to justice. It is already coming back to bite her in the lack of trust and respect she has from her friends. So sad for her. The best way you can be a friend is to pray for her. And, watch out…see next verse…)

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”  1 Corinthians 15:33

(And by way of another thank you…)
In everything, set them an example by doing what is good.  Titus2:7-8
(Thank you for being this kind of example for your younger cousins who look up to you!)

Love you, dearie,
Aunt Kara

Please pardon the interruption. This is a test post that was created so that we can do some testing on a great new blog feature that is coming soon!