Summer’s comin’ and whether that means a vacation, staycation, or just some scheduled family fun nights, it’s easy to incorporate Scripture!

1. Pick a verse.
   Our family likes flipping through Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments to find a verse.
2. Write the verse on a notecard.
   A child or adult can do this depending on the ability of your kid.  My daughter likes to use different colored markers as she writes the verse.  Kids can also decorate the card.
3. Post it where everyone can see it frequently.
   We usually put it on the dashboard of our car for road trips and/or display it in the main living area of where we are staying.
4. Pray the verse as a family each morning. 
5. See how God’s wonderful Word blesses your trip! 
   Each day, thank or praise God through His verse and how it is helping your vacation.  At the end of the trip, imagine what the trip would have been like without the Scripture and compare it to your experience of vacationing with Scripture.

What does Vacationing with Scripture look like in real life? 

For a mini-trip to a drive-through wildlife park, we picked this verse.  We enjoyed praising God through our verse as we marveled at His creation of such amazing animals.

For a trip when I got food poisoning and was laid up for 3 days, I recuperated in bed looking at this verse.  Well, stink!  I guess I didn’t get a picture of the verse.  So, I’ll treat you to a snapshot of the fateful lunch when I ate some bad, bad, BAD fish tacos that caused the food poisoning!  I had Tim take the picture because I wanted to remember the moment of the beautiful day, open window, feeling the breeze, so happy…..if I only knew what was coming!

For a trip when my daughter didn’t feel good for most of the week, we had this verse to encourage us.

For a recent road trip to Colorado, we were reminded of being grateful each time we got in the car.  It even challenged us to find ways to be thankful as we were dealing with a flat tire on the 14 hour drive home!  This verse was such a blessing in general that we decided to leave it in the car after the vacation.

My all time favorite vacationing with Scripture experience is detailed here.  A close second is the first time I experimented with vacationing with Scripture.

Our family is big on traditions and this has become a must any time we head out the door for a trip.  I can’t understate the beauty, blessing, encouragement, and exhortation of being mindful of a specific Scripture while we travel.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes! 

Someone recently asked my kids what they are excited about doing this summer and Jake quickly and enthusiastically replied, “Video Games!!!!”   Oh boy, here we go again with another lovely saga of parents vs. electronics!  Which reminded me…

After one of my children was grounded almost all of last summer from electronics, I realized that even our carefully thought through electronic time limits were excessive.  Without electronics as a go-to, that child became more creative, initiated playing long-forgotten games from the game closet with the sibling, finished fun “projects” that had been started but abandoned, etc.

Side note:  Why was my child grounded from electronics for months? 
Because losing them for shorter periods of time was a consequence for a certain behavioral issue.  Once they were earned back, the child immediately lost them again.  Round and round we went with longer amounts of time for the consequence so that the total ended up being about 4 months.  I’m happy to say that the persistence in discipline, discussion, and much prayer from this mommy paid off as we have yet to see a repeat of the particular issue.  Whew, that was a doozie!

Just in our little family’s microcosm of America, I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of electronics.  And, I’ve been fascinated to read scientific research and anecdotal stories of the impact through Dr. Chapman and Arlene Pellicane’s book, Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen Driven World.

Summer’s comin’ fast y’all, and I like a plan.  This year we are going to try some electronic free days.

Electronic free also means:

• freedom from keeping track of electronic limits
• freedom from arguing or whining for more (or the more polite version, “May I please just finish the level?” (which in our house translates to foreeeeeever!)
• freedom from feeling the parental guilt of letting their brains turn to mush…

I’m looking forward to what these electronic free days bring!  Anyone with me?
Who knows, maybe one of the wonderful byproducts of electronic free will mean more teachable moments!  Don’t forget to use your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments as a resource!

Fight is a bit of an aggressive word and can be construed many different ways.  So, I’ll define it as is typical in my marriage.

Fight (Durbin Marriage Style) – verb, when Kara and Tim bicker back and forth or have heated discussions in raised and irritated tones.  synonym – argument

One evening, Tim and I began squabbling over I can’t even remember what in front of the kids as he was headed back to shower.  Because of our almost 19 years of marriage (+5 prior years of dating), I knew 2 things:
1.  That neither of us was truly mad at the other.
2.  That we would resolve the issue before we went to bed.
Do not let the sun go down while you are angry.  Ephesians 4:26b

But as I glanced at my two kids sitting on the couch, a thought occurred to me.
Did our children know those two things?!

I called Tim back and we decided to work it out in front of the kids so they could see how Mom and Dad deal with conflict resolution.

We explained that…

• Yes, Mom and Dad do have fights/arguments.  They’ve seen it before.
• Even when we are trying to work things out and it seems like we are totally frustrated with each other (which we usually are!), we still love each other.  Both feelings are possible at the same time.  Love is patient.  1 Cor. 13:4a
• Sometimes one of us has to walk away, like Daddy did earlier so we can calm down before trying to resolve the issue.   Refrain from anger and turn from wrath.  Psalm 37:8a
• We never call each other names or get physical in our arguments.  That crosses the line.  Love is kind. 1 Cor.13:4
• Sometimes we have to agree to disagree.  And that’s ok, too.
• We try to never let the sun go down on an heated argument.  Do not let the sun go down while you are angry. Ephesians 4:26b

Then we carried on with our argument turned conversation, allowing the kids to see us work it out.

I think the benefits of this were many –

• The kids saw Mom and Dad practicing what they preach.
• They realized conflict resolution is skill they will need all their life, so they might as well keep practicing with siblings and friends!
• They saw that conflict is normal.  The important thing is how it is handled.
• They felt security as Mom and Dad explained that the squabbles don’t change their love and commitment to each other.  (Single parents – These same principles can be demonstrated with a good friend or even parent to child!)
• They heard how the Bible has practical helps in dealing with conflict.

The next time a “fight” begins in front of your kids, consider blessing them with a similar teachable moment!  PS: Though I think this a great idea and helpful to play out in front of your kids every so often (when appropriate), in general I’m not a fan of arguing or fighting in front of the kids. 

For more verses, discussion questions, and take action ideas on the topic of “Fighting,” see your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

Got a picky eater in your home?

I thought you’d find it amusing and somewhat comforting to know that even the animal kingdom has to deal with this!

For my 40th birthday, my family treated me to a behind the scenes tour with the penguins at the Ft. Worth Zoo.  I am a little (some would say a lot) obsessed with penguins, so this was super special to me!

We had the pleasure of watching the zookeeper feed them their afternoon meal of fishies. 
Guess what we found out?!

*  Some like one kind of fish. Some like a different kind of fish.
*  One tests the firmness of each fish, drops it if not satisfied, and waits for another.
*  One must be handed the fish a certain way or won’t accept it.

Penguins can be just as picky as humans about eating!  🙂

We’ve had our own share of pickiness here at my house.  I am by no means a health expert, have “the best” meals all the time for my kids, or have completely eradicated pickiness.
But, I have learned and implemented a few TIPS that have helped.

• No separate meals for the kids.  We all eat the same thing, where they like it or not.
• I don’t give up on foods that I know are good for them.  They must try a bite or two if it’s on their plate.  Studies show it can take LOTS of tries before kids acclimate to some foods
• I explain that there are some things they may never like.  Sometimes we have to eat things we don’t enjoy.  I don’t care for tomatoes, but I eat them because I know they are good for me.
• For politeness (and mainly because my mother ingrained this in me), I’m trying to teach my kids not to say, “I don’t like ______.”  Instead, they may say, “I don’t care for ______” regarding a particular food.

I think it would be taking things a bit far for me to relate this to Scripture.  So, just consider this a shameless excuse for me to share my obsession with penguins with you!

These may not work on penguins, but they’ve worked on my kids.

 When a teachable moment does happen lend itself to God’s Word and you want to find a verse on the topic quickly, don’t forget to use your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

Let’s take things further than just “be a good example.”

That’s ABSOLUTELY true!
But let’s let our kids in on HOW we are being a good example for them.

1)  We can remind them we all struggle.  (Romans 3:23)

2)  We can be transparent with our kids about our struggles…keeping in mind appropriateness for age and content.   Meaning, we can show them how we are ourselves are working on being a godly adults.  They need real life examples of how it doesn’t come magically or without effort.    I’ll be transparent with you and show you what this looks like in my family.

My example:
I love to eat.  I’m not large, but I struggle daily to keep from becoming so.  My kids know that this is a battle for me because they have seen their bags of chips and snacks completely disappear without a trace before they have had a chance to enjoy them.  My son now hides the Nutella jar so I can’t find it.  Smart kid.

In an effort to deal with this in a healthy way and provide a good example, I’ve posted copies of portions of Philippians 4 on bright yellow paper on my mirror, fridge, and in the pantry at eye level.  I know from failing over and over that I have no power of my own in this weakness and must humble myself and rely fully on God.  My kids (and I) have the visual that I am trying to remember to use the sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God (Ephesians 6:17), to help me battle this temptation.  I pray this helps my kids remember to turn to God’s Word when they struggle!

Here’s another tactic I’ve tried.
In case you can’t clearly read the post-it, it says, “Flee from Evil!” Ha!

3)  We can take it even further and use teachable moments to show them how our struggles are similar.  You may remember that I blogged recently about “What is your child’s biggest temptation and what are you doing about it?”  I wrote that from experience with both my children.   This was also the basis for the “When nothing works with your toddler, teen, or in between, what do you do?” post.  Each of my kids have an issue that is heavy on my heart.  It’s a sin issue just like my lack of self-control with food.  (To be clear, I’m not implying that being overweight is a sin.  I just know that for me personally, food can easily become an idol and tempts me mercilessly in the area of self-control.)

I won’t throw my kids under the bus by divulging what their issues are.  But I’ll share how I’ve incorporated how I deal with my BIG struggle as a teachable moment as an example of helping equip my kids grow into godly adults with their BIG struggle.

My example:
I was sitting in the car with Kid 1 working on my Bible study while Kid 2 was in an extra-curricular activity.   Psalm 119:11 struck me anew because of recent dealings with Kid 1’s struggle and how similar in principle it is to mine.

Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You.

I realized this was a teachable moment!
I stopped and shared with Kid 1 that I had just seen a verse that I thought would be a good reminder for both of us!   We both need applicable topical verses of God’s Word in our hearts because temptation can strike at any time!  I’m not going to always be standing in the pantry with those self- control verses in front of me to help me!  I need one or two memorized so they can help me at any point!  I explained that was the same reason our family had been memorizing a verse a week on the topic of Kid 1’s BIG issue.  Though that particular thing is more of a battle for that child, it’s something we all face.  We never know when the temptation is going to strike, so we all need to have God’s Word already in our hearts to help us fight!

How are you helping your kids see the HOW of being an adult seeking after God?

Topical Scriptures to help both children and adults (because we don’t outgrow God’s Word!) can be easily found in Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

You artsy folks may appreciate this rendition of Michelangelo’s  “The Creation of Adam” from the Sistine Chapel. I like the imagery of it connected to the topic of this blog.

Are we going to teach our children to pass on by or help when possible?
Here’s a modern day example of being a Good Samaritan from a friend’s recent Facebook post-

Great teachable moment this morning on the way to karate…an elderly man had McCreary Rd blocked because the large load of food (breads, cakes, bags of candy, coffee, etc) he had in the back of his truck had shifted and fallen all over the road. The only way around was through the Target parking lot. Instead of following through the parking lot, we stopped, jumped out and ran to help him clean up. When we stopped, more & more stopped and it was soon cleaned up. He was visibly moved and thanked us all. Thank You, Lord, for this lesson today!  ~Gina Burrage

Notice that others were passing on by UNTIL the Burrages stopped to help.  THEN, others followed their kind example.

I want my kids to be the sort that stop and help and even positively influence others in the process, don’t you? 

Tonight at dinner, read the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), share this story, and discuss ways that your different family members could be Good Samaritans.  Such as…
– Helping a friend who dropped her books
– Helping a mommy or daddy who’s having to clean up a big mess
– Stopping to let a co-worker know you are praying for a difficult situation in his life.
– Being ready to act when an opportunity presents itself!

Never walk away from someone who deserves help;
    your hand is God’s hand for that person.
Proverbs 3:27 – The Message

For more verses and ideas how to expand this idea, see the topic “Kindness” in your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

I am convinced that creating traditions for our families is one of the most important parts of parenting.  A church friend of mine started the tradition of acting out the Easter story in their den when their oldest, now 11, was still quite little.  Several years, 3 kids, and lots of treasured memories later, they are still at it.

How did this special tradition get started?  I’ll let her share…
“We read aloud to our children quite a bit when they were young.  They enjoyed the Read Aloud Bible Stories by Ella Lindvall.  They would hear “A Sad Day and a Happy Day” from Volume 2 often.  They knew the sequence of Jesus dying for our sins and age appropriate details of his death.  We talked with them about the quiet weekend and then celebrating Jesus rising from the dead on Resurrection Day.  Also, we have always had a big box full of stuff that serves as props for pretend play.  It holds things like costumes, big pieces of fabric, sashes and hats.

One Easter weekend, Alisa was playing in her room and began to act out the story.  We encouraged it by bringing out couch cushions for the “tomb”.  As the children aged each year (and God brought us Hannah), they would act it out in more detail.  We did not anticipate that this would become a tradition.  All we did was read and talk about truths of the Bible.  I think kids will act out stories that they know and that’s what they did.”

Here’s a peek into the VanEerden living room from a couple of the years!

From 2009 – Left to Right
– Jesus being wrapped in cloth in the tomb
– Angel rolling the stone away
– Soldier fainted
– Nail scarred hands

From 2012 – Left to Right Below
– Carrying the cross
– Jesus on the cross being pierced in the side
– Woman at the tomb, soldier fainted
– Happy JESUS IS ALIVE!!!

I’m willing to bet that these kids will carry on this tradition with their own children some day.  Don’t you think so?

What’s your favorite family Easter tradition?

Not sure about the true meaning of Easter?
Or, do you struggle in knowing how to explain the purpose of Easter to your children?
See the topic of “Salvation” in your copy of Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

You know those “My child is on the honor roll” bumper stickers?

On Dennis Prager’s 2/18/14 radio broadcast, I heard him mention something interesting regarding those car labels…

He said, “I’ve never been impressed with that saying.  How about, ‘My child is honorable!’  What’s more important?”

TRUTH, Mr. Prager!

Next time we see one of those stickers on the back of a car, let’s make use of that teachable moment with our kids! 

Ask and discuss:
Would I rather you be a honor student or honorable?

What does it mean to be honorable, what does God say about it, and what are some creative ways to help my child understand?
Refer to the related topics of Character and Integrity in your copy of Parenting with Scripture:  A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments. 

Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience and desire to live honorably in every way.
Hebrews 13:18

What a beautiful verse to turn into a prayer for our children…

“Dearest Heavenly Father,
Please help our children to have clear consciences before you and desire to live honorably in every way.
Please give us YOUR wisdom as we teach and parent them to this end.
Let us, as parents, have the same desire for our own lives.
Thank You for Your grace when we are less than honorable.
Help us love our children the way You love us.
In Your Son’s Holy Name,
Amen”

Image courtesy of Creative Commons

Last April Fool’s Day I had a few of you thinking I had lost my mind with my “Pet Parenting with Scripture” blog title.   However, the concept did actually bring up some interesting points and I wanted to include a couple of additional ones here.

Caring for Pets –
Reader Kay Pickar shared the following in response to that blog –

A righteous man cares for the needs of his animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.
Proverbs 12:10
We’ve had to talk about this verse a few times when the kids were too rough with a pet
or they didn’t want to take the time to feed our pet.
It’s been a good discussion.

Conversation to have with your kids about animals before it’s too late!
Yes, we need take good care of any animal we bring to our home as a pet.
However, we also need to help kids understand the value of their lives versus the pet’s. 
Anyone else have a door dasher dog?
We’ve got two of our own and have fostered a few through a rescue group, and this is our cautionary tale… 

One day, foster Gumbo bolted out the door and the kids and I dashed after him as fast as we could.  I was terrified that Gumbo was going to dart in front of a car.  But, I was even more terrified  that my kids would run into the street after him without thinking since they were in such hot pursuit after this little doggy that we had been entrusted to care for and had come to adore.

Thankfully we caught him, but it reminded me that I needed to have a serious chat with my kids about the value of their lives versus our pets’. 
I shared the following – 
*As much as we love our pets/animals, people are always more important.
*If it’s a choice between the pet or you getting hurt, make the decision to keep yourself safe. 
Then I threw out several “What if?” scenarios to see if they really understood.
I want them to have already thought through these things so they will be equipped when split second decisions are necessary!

This is serious business, folks!
I’m still haunted by this tragic news story where three family members drown trying to save their dog.  After watching my kids running after Gumbo to try to catch and protect him,  I can more easily see how something like that could happen.

Hence, my conversation with my kids and my encouragement to you, my lovely readers, to do the same.

This was the day we picked up Gumbo from the rescue.
He was a scruffy mess, but stole my heart right away!

Lookin’ good after his first grooming!
He could finally see the world!

For teachable moments on all sorts of topics, don’t forget to refer to your copy of
Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.

St. Patrick’s Day can be an occasion for some silly family fun as well as a teachable moment with Scripture!

Did you know that St. Patrick used the Shamrock to teach about the Trinity?  
CLICK HERE to read more about that and see 7 simple shamrock crafts with instructions.

Create fun memories with your family by playing St. Patrick’s Day minute-to-win-it games!   Surprise your family with the supplies to play these games on or around St. Patrick’s Day.  Have your camera ready, because they are sure to make for some great Kodak moments!

CLICK HERE for the link we used for the 10 Minute-to-Win-it Games.

No need to score, but our family enjoys friendly competition!

“They’re After Me Lucky Charms!” game

I can assure you that my kids will never forget when I picked them up from a playdate wearing this neon green wig!
All our hats, wig, and headbands were found at Target dollar section or dollar store.
This is a picture of the “Gold Digger” game.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
2 Corinthians 13:14

 Don’t forget that you can make use of Scripture in teachable moments every day with your copy of
Parenting with Scripture: A Topical Guide for Teachable Moments.